Spike in Activity Prompts LDS Church to Start Construction on New Temple in Sochi, Russia
With a two-week spike in activity due to completely unknown circumstances, the LDS Church announced that construction has begun on the Sochi, Russia Temple.
Ex-Mormon Hipsters Still Refuse to Drink Coffee After Leaving the Church
To Ex-Mormon hipsters, being orthodox Mormon, while not technically being Mormon, is as hip as it gets.
LDS Church Rents Out Conference Center for Monster Truck Rallies on Weekdays
Members can expect a renewed zeal for monster truck mayhem and family-friendly fun!
Starbucks Opens in Provo Amid Protests
A new Starbucks opened in the Provo area with customers hoping for more hot drinks and protesters hoping to shut it down.
Justin Bieber to Attend BYU by Court Order
Justin Bieber was ordered by a judge to attend BYU in order to get his life together and start making some decent music.
Ward Pledges to Make All Sacrament Bread and Water Organic and GMO Free
This courageous ward finally makes a stand against one of Satan’s lesser-known tools of destruction.
Mars Rover ‘Curiosity’ is Prepared for Missionary Opportunities on the Red Planet
“No unhallowed hand can stop missionary work from progressing; governments may shut down, distant nebulae may explode, extraterrestrial armies may assemble, software glitches may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every galaxy, visited every rock formation, swept over the desolate spaces and sounded where sound cannot physically exist, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished or until we need to cut costs.” -Revision to Wentworth Letter
After Controversy, Duck Dynasty Will Move to BYUtv in February
After a controversial December, BYU announced today that popular television show Duck Dynasty will be moving to BYUtv in February.
University Grants Extra Holiday Vacation to Accounting Students
Accounting majors are more than pleased to hear that they would be given an additional two weeks of vacation time for their being a top-tier program as well as their intolerable pride.
LDS Church Announces Relocation to Missouri after Gay Marriage Legalization
After hearing of the legalization of gay marriage in Utah, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has announced that it will now move its headquarters to Independence, Missouri in preparation for the Second Coming of Christ.
Chaos in Provo after Vehicles Towed During Council Meeting on Predatory Towing
With an ordinance ending predatory towing unanimously passed by the Provo City Council, towing companies all over Provo responded by towing everyone within a ten-mile radius of City Hall.
Church to Build Theme Park to Accelerate Missionary Work
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has announced that construction on a new amusement park in the state of Florida will begin in the next few months
BYU-California to Open Doors Fall 2014
With students at odds with the weather of Provo, CES officials announce that BYU will open another campus in Southern California to appease those who yearn for warmer climes.
Ask Sister Christensen: How Can I Make My Prayers More Powerful?
Sister Christensen answers the age-old question: “How can I hit a prayer home run?”
Unrighteous Dominion Leads to Perfect Unity in Nevada Family
Jack Hughes tells The BunYion in two words how he has united his family in such difficult times: unrighteous dominion.
Students Upset After Being Told to Date For at Least One Month Before Marriage
Hundreds of single, BYU students plan on fighting a proposition voted into campus law yesterday. Proposition 18, the Mandatory Familiarity proposal, passed, while Proposition 19, the Mandatory Maturity proposal was voted down. Some couples, such as Tamika and Jakobi (left), are marrying outside of the temple in protest.
Archaeologists Uncover Joseph Smith’s iPhone 1827s
After a new Church History discovery, Apple and the LDS Church were in shock to find that Joseph Smith may have had an early version of Apple’s popular mobile device a full 180 years before the actual release of the iPhone in 2007.
REPENT YE, REPENT YE, YE STEADIERS OF THE ARC, A RESPONSE TO LAMAN AND LEMUEL-LIKE MURMURING ABOUT BYU STATUES
Brother LaVernal Jorgeson of the Honor Code Implementation Office writes a letter to the editors of The BunYion. For those who “steady the ark” he gives two words of advice: REPENT YE!
Church Member Unwittingly Discovers Church Just Showing Reruns of Old General Conferences
Nothing wrong with some good reruns!
LDS Church To Run Government During Shutdown
As the clock hit 12:00 AM EST on October 1st, the US Government was officially shutdown, leaving many Americans wondering about how such a crisis will be solved. Answer: Leave it to the LDS Church.