Church Member Unwittingly Discovers Church Just Showing Reruns of Old General Conferences

Melvin Fingdingler III of the Springville 13th ward was surprised to find that the Church has just been showing old reruns of General Conference sessions for the last several years.

According to Fingdingler, the realization came when he awoke briefly from his semi-annual General Conference nap to the monotone words of a talk he was almost sure he had heard before.

Melvin Fingdingler III desperately trying to pay attention.

“I thought I was dreaming until I distinctly heard the speaker say, ‘Thee lift me, and I’ll lift thee, And we’ll both ascend together,’” explained Fingdingler. “That line piqued my curiosity since I was almost positive I had heard the same speaker say it with the same intonation years ago. I began to rummage through old copies of General Conference videotapes that my wife, Bertha, keeps right next to the Living Scripture videos under the television. Upon reviewing an old General Conference tape from April 1997, I realized the Church was indeed just rerunning old General Conferences.”

“My first thought was, ‘Why hasn’t anyone else noticed this yet?’” Fingdingler remarked. “But then I began to think about it and just decided that, ya know, it’s all good. Read your scriptures, be good, say your prayers, etc. How many times can you change those themes up in an effort to make them sound interesting? Please. These men may have the Priesthood, but they’re not magicians.”

Fingdingler even called the church offices in Salt Lake City to inquire about the reruns. He said he was given the runaround by a secretary who declined to give her name.

“I really thought there was something familiar with the last few General Conferences, but I never thought they were actually showing reruns,” said Fingdingler. “I’ll admit, I usually sleep through most of the second and fourth sessions, but even I started thinking something was a little fishy when the person conducting the session turned the time over to Howard W. Hunter.”

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