BYU Top 8 Back to School Headlines
PROVO- BYU campus was ablaze with news stories this week. Unfortunately, most of our student correspondent writers decided school was more important than informing the world. They were all fired.
#1 Man Passes Out from Boredom-Induced Brain Aneurism in BYU Bookstore Line
![passed out student](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/passed-out-student.jpg)
#2 Cosmo Joins Facebook to Stalk Freshman
![Cougar (turns 60 this year) suggestively flirting with freshman.](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Awkward-Cougar.jpg)
#3 BYU Extreme Sports Team Sweeps X-Games
![BYU X-Games Team Captian captures gold in this summer's x-games](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/xgames.jpg)
#4 Google Fiber Hires Ex-Vivint Salesmen (i.e. all of the business school)
![Google Fiber](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Google-Fiber-1024x791.jpg)
#5 Snipers Hired to Protect Missionary Training Center
![MTC Snipers](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/MTC-Snipers.jpg)
#6 BYU Creates a Miniature Campus for LDS Ants
![Ants concerned with lack of diversity at the school.](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Mini-School.jpg)
#7 College of Puppetology and Ventriloquism Announced
![Likely to bring shame and disgrace to BYU.](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Dean-of-Puppet-School.jpg)
#8 BYU Baldmen Club Denied Club Charter Third Straight Year
![This could be you sooner than you think.](/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Bald-President.jpg)