Opinion: “I’m Not Judging Lindsey Stirling, But…”

As the controversy surrounding Lindsey Stirling’s dress worn at the Billboard Music Awards continues to garner attention in the Mormon world, we sat down to talk with someone who was more Christlike in their approach to the whole situation: longtime reader and modesty aficionado Ashley.

BunYion News Team: Why do you feel that modesty is important, Ashley?

Ashley: Modesty, as it has been since the dawn of time, is about covering up parts of our bodies to stop boys from having unclean thoughts and touching their… “factories.” When no one cares about modesty, our boys become victim to these enticing harlots prancing around in bikinis and revealing v-necks.

BNT: So modesty is just a woman’s issue?

Ashley: Of course not. Males can essentially wear whatever they want that helps them to hold the priesthood better. Since our esteemed priesthood holders (both actual and potential) have weak minds, women are in charge of making sure those men and boys have pure thoughts. That’s one of the many ways men and women are equal.

BNT: Interesting. How do women dress modestly?

Ashley: In order to dress to the approved standards, women  should not wear shorts, skirts or dresses that go too far above the knee; shirts and dresses that reveal any of the shoulder; two-piece swimsuits and swimsuits that show too much cleavage are also not allowed. I’m not judging those who choose certain articles of clothing based on a different, albeit lesser, standard, but I pray for the poor souls who choose not to follow the counsel of inspired leaders.

BNT: You wouldn’t wear a dress like Lindsey Stirling did, then?

Ashley: If I were a hypocrite, then yes. But I value modesty, so no.

BNT: Some think that you are judging her based on your reactions to her dress.

Ashley: Many people think I am judging this beautiful daughter of God. Far from it. I simply recognize that Stirling wore something that was very immodest, needs to repent and will ultimately be held accountable for the thoughts of all of the men and boys who are simply too weak to look away.

BNT: You claim to defer judgement to Christ, please explain.

Ashley: Definitely. I defer all of the judgments to the Savior. This is between Lindsey and Jesus. Its none of our business. I just know that if I was Jesus I would have some words for her. Words like “harlot” and “abominable whore.”

BNT: How do you combat immodesty with friends?

I have a few friends who dress really slutty and I would never judge them; it is totally their choice to ultimately suffer in Hell. I love them deeply, but it saddens me to see them tempt men and boys through their abominable appearance. I mean, couldn’t they cover up a little skin? I can’t remember a time when the spirit was with us all together.

Ashley had lots more to say about Lindsey and modesty but unfortunately the BunYion News Team could not concentrate and take notes any longer due to her enticing attire and revealing cleavage. But if we had to guess, we’d say she continues to hit the nail on the head about modest dress and being judgmental.