Mitt Romney to Replace Stephen Colbert on “Colbert Report”

NEW YORK—Following news that Stephen Colbert will be replacing David Letterman on the Late Show, Comedy Central confirmed Mitt Romney will be taking over for Stephen Colbert on the “Colbert Report.” Earlier today, Comedy Central released this statement:

“Stephen Colbert has played a strong conservative with great hair for the last five years. We feel it’s an upgrade to replace him with someone else who has played an even stronger conservative for over eight years and happens to have better hair.”
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Social media activist Suey Park, credited with the #CancelColbert Twitter campaign, immediately tweeted, “I’m happy to see that Comedy Central has embraced diversity by hiring a white, conservative Mormon to run the Colbert Report.”

Expectations run high for Romney, who recently debuted his comedic timing in “The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon,” “The Late Show with David Letterman,” and his entire 2012 presidential campaign.

Romney has indicated he plans to continue many popular segments with his own twist. A few specific examples he cited include:  “Better Know a District” will change to “Better Know a Mormon Apostle.” “Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A” will now be “Cheating Taxes, with Rev. Mitt Romney.” The popular “Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger” will become “Tip of the Hat, Tagg of the Finger.”

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