Study Shows 100% of Divorces Begin With Marriage

PROVO — A sort of polemic has emerged in Utah Valley after a recent article from the BYU Studies journal showed the root cause of divorce was marriage.

“This is truly groundbreaking data,” said head researcher Gary Andrews. “These statistics suggest that unless a person was married, he/she cannot be divorced. Identifying marriage as a key factor in divorce is a huge step forward for social science.”

The team of researchers noted that of couples who broke up, split up, or separated, only 1% were actually married. On the other hand, of those who were divorced, 100% were married at some point.

After reading over the study, David Kovark, a single BYU senior said, “I always had a sneaking suspicion that divorce begins with marriage. Hopefully this will keep my parents from harassing me about dating for a few weeks.”