Justin Bieber to Attend BYU by Court Order

MIAMI — Canadian-born pop sensation Justin Bieber was arraigned early Thursday morning under charges of intoxicated driving without a valid license. As part of a court-ordered remedial program, Bieber will be moving to Provo, UT to attend Brigham Young University.

Despite suggestions of deportation from Twitter users under #deportjustin, Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) refused the filing, prompting Miami judge Ricardo Moreno to order the move to BYU.

Moreno spoke directly after the sentencing, saying, “I believe this move will be beneficial to [Bieber], as he has never had the chance of attending university classes. I think he will grow past his old ways and won’t revert unless he spends too much time at Helaman Halls.”

BYU spokeswoman Elizabeth Hodgkin reports that BYU is thrilled to have Bieber in Provo. “The LDS church is already known for David Archuleta and now we can add Justin Bieber to our branding. If we could just add One Direction, we’d have a monopoly on every girl ages 10-16 worldwide.”

Despite concerns of adaptation, especially to BYU’s strict honor code, most feel that Bieber will adjust quickly to his new home. The pop-star himself didn’t seem too disappointed earlier today when he sent out a tweet reading, “BYU honor code requires men to shave daily?? HA! This is gonna be a cinch! #nosweat.”