BYU Statues Break Honor Code

PROVO- “We hadn’t thought of it before,” said David Stevenson from BYU’s Honor Code Office, “but our statues may not be completely in compliance with the Honor Code.”

Elder Lynn G. Robbins visited campus last Tuesday and spoke during the weekly devotional. What most people don’t know is that the BYU administration received a sharp rebuke from the visiting General Authority.

During Robbins’ tour of the campus he pointed out that several statues on campus did not abide by the Honor Code. He cited three examples found below:

Problem Statue #1: Karl Maeser’s Beard

For years, students have expressed anguish at the clear hypocrisy of this symbol of integrity. “How can he lecture us about integrity when he doesn’t even follow the honor code!?” sophomore Chelsea Barnes furiously questioned.

Problem Statue #2: Cheif Massasoit or “Yellow Feather’s” Wardrobe Choices

“This statue is so offensive to me,” said engineering student, Steven Fisher. “There is no excuse for immodesty. I don’t even shower without being modest.”

Another student, Kelseey Williams said, “I wish this statue wasn’t in my face everyday. For me, this statue is worse than 50 Shades of Gray.”

Problem Statue #3: Baby Out of Wedlock

This statue of two young lovers swinging their bastard child creates a less-than-satisfactory image of Honor Code adherence among BYU students.

“After I saw this statue again,” said visiting alumni, Steven Polouski, “I realized it was the main reason my baby’s momma and I never got married. We figured if this family is happy without marriage, why not us?”

It is doubtful that BYU will make any changes unless students and alumni will join their voices together in protest. For more information on the cause please email byustatuesmustgo@byu.edu