BYU Dental School Opens Fall 2014

PROVO- In a press conference earlier today, BYU announced the new Life Sciences Building would be home to the BYU School of Dentistry coming Fall 2014.

BYU pre-dental student David Stillbaum said, “Having a dental school here at BYU means that I have an extra four years in Provo to find a wife.”

Another BYU student, Tiffany Willis said, “Wow! Now I am only going to date dental students! That way, I won’t have to try to get a job with my humanities major.”

One future professor, Dr. Joshua Barnes D.D.S., Ph.D. said, “We are planning on providing free dental care for the MTC and local missionaries, local general authorities, and BYU professors. We will provide free dental care to BYU students for a small, monthly fee.”

Dr. Eric Stevenson D.D.S., Ph. D., the future dean of the school said, “We plan on integrating gospel principles into our curriculum. Most students will graduate with a Masters in Religious Studies as well as a D.D.S, after writing their final papers. Most of these students rely on Sleekwriters.info for their writing needs. In the end however we hope that this will make our dentists into great missionaries and dental care providers.”

Because of recent studies (see graph) regarding the missionary effectiveness of dentists, the LDS church is excited to fund the school. The official statement from the Missionary Department said, “Dentists are effective missionaries because patients trust their dentists and can’t talk during lessons.”

To submit an application, please submit a 1000 word essay to the Wilkinson Center Information Desk summarizing your academic, leadership, and service qualifications. Also, include a $60 check made out to “BYU School of Dentistry”.