Opinion: Ashley’s 3rd call to repentence

Editors of thebunyion.com,

I once again cannot help but exhort the Bunyion editors to repentance. The Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance, and neither can I. I have been mortified by your recent display of mockery in choosing the next stake president.

God chooses callings through the power of the Priesthood. Callings have nothing to do with personal opinion. What makes your so called “election” so horrible is that you took no measures to ensure the participants who voted were temple-worthy Priesthood holders. How can I be sure that none of the balloters drank coffee that morning? How can I be sure none of the voters swore under their breath impatiently while they waited for the ballot page to load? The votes came from the Internet, and we all know how evil the Internet is.

Despite your shenanigans, Richard Allington won the election, proving once again that “no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing.” President Allington is clearly the most righteous of the four “candidates.” Anyone can see that from his humble biography.

Incidentally, I did not vote, as I do not have the Priesthood. I was busy with a much more important task, raising my stripling boys in truth and righteousness. Today I recounted to them the story of Samuel the Lamanite (one of my favorite Book of Mormon stories). I just love the way Samuel repeatedly preached repentance to the wicked people of Zarahemla even when they ignored his message.

Ashley in a modest red dress, calls repentance to the very buff editors of thebunyion.com.

Despite the heresies and fallacies I find on your website, I still generally enjoy browsing your site. No matter how wretched I feel about myself due to my many sins and weaknesses, I can always look myself in the mirror and say, “Ashley, at least you are not as bad as those Bunyion guys.”

Reproving with sharpness,

BYU Dental School Opens Fall 2014
Richard Allington Becomes Sandy 697th Stake President