Missionary Work Rolls Forth At The Happiest Place On Earth

SALT LAKE CITY- Just when members thought it couldn’t get any better to be a Latter Day Saint, the Church has announced their next phase in missionary changes that will have an impact around the globe.

The Church headquarters in Salt Lake City released the information in a press conference on Monday, stating that they have bought out The Walt Disney Company, including the resorts in California, Florida, Hong Kong, Tokyo, and Paris.

“Membership numbers are expected to skyrocket as the Lord’s work continues to roll forward. What better place to approach nonmembers about the gospel than at the ‘happiest place on Earth?'” asserted Brother Dan Johnson, chairman of the Disney Missionary Committee.

Plans are being made for minor changes to each of the resorts as well as a few new rides for visitors. One new attraction, “Mormonism is for Me”, will be located right on Main Street, U.S.A. Missionaries will be available to answer questions and give mini discussions.

The popular “It’s a Small World” ride will undergo the most significant modifications. As guests float peacefully along the river, all 141 temples will be presented with the flag and dancing dolls from that country, resulting in an exuberant 53 minute journey showing the world how the gospel is now being preached unto every nation, kindred, tongue, and people (D&C 133:37).

Other additions include a gold Moroni figure on the top spire of each of the Cinderella castles. You can also expect slightly more modest character outfits, with all shoulders of the princesses covered.

Just as tuition at BYU is subsidized by the Church, members will receive a significant discount on Park Hopper passes by showing a current temple recommend when tickets are purchased.

“We feel that Disney promotes the strong family values of the Church. Because one of the missions of the church is to strengthen the members, we feel it appropriate to encourage members to come to the resorts as often as they can. We also hope to welcome back those who have gone astray and left the fold. If Disney can’t convince them that the Church is true, nothing can,” Johnson stated.

Overall, the Church looks to expand its sphere of influence and continue to aid families in their quest for eternal life.