Letter to the Editor: Some More Complaints

Editors of thebunyion.com,

Exodus 20:16: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

It’s one of the 10 commandments. You should not lie.

After hearing about the new General Authority card game, I stood in line for hours at Deseret Book in the City Creek Mall with my two very excited boys. They were bouncing off the walls. I haven’t seen them that excited since this past April, when I took the family to see the Prophets of the Lord speak in the Conference Center.

The Deseret Book worker I spoke to did not know what I was talking about as I tried to describe the latest family game hit since Settlers of Zarahemla. He was very rude and unhelpful. I even heard him get angry with his co-worker. I had a strong feeling that he has some unresolved worthiness issues.

I tried three other Deseret Book stores in the area but not a single one stocked the General Authority Trading Card Game. Several employees assured me that the game simply doesn’t exist.

Burning with embarrassment and indignation I finally gave up and returned home to write you this letter. I have forgiven you for accidentally misinforming me about the Stadium of Fire, but I am appalled to learn that you deceived me and your other readers again. I deserve an apology. My young boys who sobbed for hours, crying, “I want my limited edition holographic righteous indignation Jeffrey R. Holland card!” deserve an apology. Every person who tried and failed to buy your farcical card game deserves an apology. I will be carefully watching your website for future misinformation, and like I said in my last letter, I WILL seek news elsewhere if you fail to report accurately.

From a somewhat jaded reader,

P.S. I don’t wish to only preach repentance, as I have been downright pleased by some of your other articles, such as the writings about assigned seats and the new missionary dress standards. I already mailed 4 pairs of linen shorts to my nephew who is currently serving an honorable mission in Tampa. He complains about the wet dog smell wafting from his pants due to his constant sweating in the suffocating humidity. (I tell him not to murmur.) He will be so pleased when he finds out he can wear professional looking linen shorts.

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