Holy Ghost Feeling Pretty Tired, Going to Bed Soon

DENVER — Noting that it was getting close to his bedtime, the being known as the Holy Ghost announced he was going to “hit the hay.”

“It’s been a really long and productive day,” said the Holy Spirit. “I helped Tim Murphy to remember some answers for a test, guided John Whitson to propose on the first date, prompted Brittney Young to not take an internship overseas, and then helped a bunch of scientists come to a unified decision about their research. A lot of people completely ignored me, but it’s been a great day overall.”

The Spirit, as his friends often call him, was brushing his teeth and looking at his schedule for the next day before saying to himself, “I better get some sleep tonight. There are lots of people who will need some comfort or inspiration tomorrow. Plus, I need to get the laundry done and fix the sink.”

When asked if he would help those teenagers soon to be making out in the back of a car in the greater Chicago area, the Holy Spirit said, “I wish I could, but I go to bed at midnight, Mountain Time.”