» Students Anxious as Kid that Sits in Front of Class Close to Reaching High Score in Bejeweled Blitz

MARTIN BUILDING – Classmates are chomping at the bit to watch the kid who sits near the front of class finally beat the high score of Bejeweled Blitz on his 17-inch Acer laptop.

“I’ve never seen someone play the game like that,” said Jake Loughton, a senior studying International Relations. “He uses his boosts at the perfect time and his rare gems are just the icing on the cake. It’s almost like he knows what the map will look like before it appears.”

Students weren't surprised to hear their supposed classmate was close to the high score. — Students weren’t surprised to hear their supposed classmate was close to the high score.

Many classmates who sit behind the unnamed student were also thrilled that he was so close to reaching the high score of the famous game.

“Professor Stiles has some great lessons, but I just can’t take my eyes off that screen,” said Devon Alderwield, a sophomore from Appleton, Wisconsin. “I mean, I’ve played a few good games, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had the top score soon. He deserves it, too.”

Even teaching assistants were impressed at the extent the unnamed student went to in order to play the highly lauded game.

“I don’t even know if this kid is in the class. I’ve never seen him on any of the picture rolls and he has never come up after class to get a paper or anything,” said teaching assistant Sam Boyak, “But I’m glad I get to see a seasoned professional ply his trade three days a week.”

To be a part of this incredibly historical moment, Political Science 170 lectures are every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9:00-9:50 a.m. in room 343 of the Martin Building on campus.

dba.brotherp says:

November 8, 2013 at 9:07 am

I propose some enterprising saint develop a game based on the gospel called “Salvation Crush.” In this game you match gospel centered items and work yourself from the Pre-existence to the top of the Celestial kingdom. However, there will be a catch, if you put together three or more “sin” items (such a cigarettes or boating on Sunday) you get put into “Spirit Prison” until you “pay bail” of $1.99 payable via PayPal, MasterCard, or VISA.

I know some apostates out there will say, “brotherp, you can’t earn your way to heaven, you get to heaven by grace.” Well, to them I say, you get grace after all that you can do and sometimes that costs $1.99.

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